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Please Forgive Me

Have you ever asked someone to forgive you? How did that go?

I want to take a moment today to attempt to change your mind – so that you never say ‘Forgive Me’ again.

This is a huge topic, weighty, and a blog won’t give it full justice.  However, what I want you to think about are these scriptures:

• If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. (Matthew 18:15)
• So if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.  (Matthew 5:23-24)
• Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him. (Luke 17:3-4)
• Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord.See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no “root of bitterness” springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled; (Hebrews 12:14-15)
• Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamour and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. (Ephesians 4:31)
• If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)

Now here are some key points:

1. An offense always has a least two people involved and scripture has instructions for both the offender and the offended.
2. Both the offender and offended have actions to complete.
3. Neither can do the action designed for the other.
4. One action is not reliant on the other.
5. Forgiving is not condoning.
6. Forgiveness is an action not a feeling – see point 2.
7. You don’t have to know you’ve been forgiven (by the other person) to be free – freedom comes from your own action.

Once again there is a lot in these topics.  What I am focussing on today is the action of the offender.

You must first know you have offended or sinned. This knowing can come from yourself, the approach of the person offended, a realisation that something is ‘wrong’ in the relationship, the Holy Spirit.  You must also sincerely repent of the action, in the New Testament, in some versions, this is seen as being ‘sorry’ for hurting another.

Once you realise and you have repented then comes a confession – Now this is KEY – it is a confession NOT a question.  A confession of something you did or did not do, for example “I’m sorry for taking the money from your purse” or “I’m sorry I didn’t visit you in hospital”.

A confession (apology) is about you – it is primarily concerned with you and your perception of your own actions or non-actions.

So if you need to confess a wrong doing, do that.

If you ask others to forgive you – you are effectively a. manipulation them, and b. leaving your freedom in their hands.  Neither is right or good.  You are asking the other person to do something you should be doing.

YOU need to take action, not ask someone to do it for you.

Don’t ask – DO – Don’t ask for forgiveness. MAKE  A CONFESSION (apology).

P.S.

• The word apology does not appear in the bible and its origin has a very different meaning to our language today.
• Sorry in the Old Testament is different to sorry in the New Testament.
• It’s an interesting and important kingdom principle both confession and forgiveness, its worth taking an in depth look at them.